Over Spending and Under Pressure
by LileyKigoSpashleyRizzslesLover
Summary: When Hope and Kailyn reject her, Maura feels like her life is spiraling out of control. Can Jane, her constant rock, help her or will her growing affection for the detective make things worse? Continuation of S3E6. Jane/Maura. Oneshot.


Ten wads of tissues dotted the coffee table near two empty cups. Maura sniffled as she fiddled with yet another Kleenex.

"I don't know what to say." Was all Jane _could_ say after Maura explained to her what had happened not too long ago.

The M.E. sniffled. "Out of all the scenarios I thought of… that wasn't one of them." She brought the already tear soaked tissue up to her eyes and dabbed.

Jane reached behind herself to grab another tissue, crumpling it up slightly before handing it to the other woman. "She's in… denial. She's in shock. Imagine." She placed her hand on Maura's shoulder. "How would you react if a grown woman came up to you and said 'how you doing? I'm your dead baby.'"

Letting out a long, emotion filled, sigh, she shook her head. "What about Kailyn? If she doesn't let me help her, she'll die."

"Maura." The detective stopped for a moment to laugh at the absurdity what she was going to say next. "You can't force your kidney on her." She never thought she'd ever be saying a sentence like that.

"I wish I could." She sniffled again and wiped away the tears that had started to well up again. "I never, ever, meant to cause them any pain. It's just so awful."

With a sympathetic look ever present, Jane watched Maura bring the tissue up to her face again. "I tried to warn you." She reached for another tissue to hand to her friend when she saw Maura toss her current one aside. "Family sucks." She held the tissue between two fingers and gave the other woman an expectant look. "Blow."

She looked at it and then back up at the Italian. "No."

That caused Jane to bring her hand down as her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"No." The doctor repeated. "I'm all cried out, okay?" She brought her hands up to wipe away any remaining dampness on her face and then clapped her hands together in a triumphant manner. "I'm done! I'm done. And, actually," she punctuated that word with a poke to the other woman's arm. "I'm a little insulted."

"What I'd do?"

"That girl rejected my kidney." She said in all seriousness.

Jane, thinking she was being tested somehow, paused for a moment before playing along. "The nerve."

"I know, right? It's a very nice kidney."

"I'm sure it is." She responded, trying not to laugh. "_You_ should keep it. In _your_ body."

That got a few chuckles out of the shorter girl.

"Just saying."

Still laughing, Maura leaned forward and put her hand on the other woman's knee. It took a few moments for the small giggle fit to die down but, when it did, she looked into Jane's eyes and smiled. "Thank you for that. I really needed a laugh."

Jane beamed and got an idea. "How about this one: a nun walks into a bar. She sits down and starts reading 'On The Angels' Wings of Desire'."

The inside joke caused a snort to come out. She reached up and covered her mouth as she laughed lightly, shaking her head in slight disapproval at the other woman.

"What? It was funny!" She held up her hands trying to defend herself. "C'mon, you can't tell me that a nun in a bar doesn't make you think of a bad joke?"

"It was a bad joke, yes." Maura nodded.

Narrowing her eyes at her, Jane frowned. "That's not what I meant."

"I know. Good effort though." She said with a smile as she used her thumb to rub the clothed leg joint it rested on.

That movement, however slight, caused bufferflies to swarm around inside her. They were so intense she had to take in a breath of air rather sharply.

Maura recoiled, surprised at the sudden action. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine… I just… I, uh…" Since she wasn't really sure where she was going with the, she decided to change the subject. "Are you okay? I can try to talk to Hope for you if you want? Maybe she'll listen to me?"

"No." Maura shook her head. "She probably just needs some time. I – let's just wait at least a couple of days and see what happens."

Jane nodded in agreement but was already planning in her head what she was going to do once those couple of days were up. She knew what all this uncertainty was going to do to her best friend and it wasn't going to be pretty.

"So… how about we talk about something different?" She asked, wanting to not focus on this issue anymore than she had to right now. "How are you and Casey?"

The woman at the end of the curious gaze let out a laborious sigh. "I don't wanna talk about it."

The sides of Maura's brow lifted in concern. "Oh… what happened?"

"It's just… it's not working out. I told him the other day that we should just be friends for now. He wasn't too happy about that. He stormed out of the restaurant. Well… his version of storming anyway. You get the picture, right?"

Maura nodded and seemed to be deep in thought. "I do."

"Maura?" She looked at her oddly for a moment and then panicked slightly, recognizing the look. "Maura, no! You can't fix this. I don't want you to fix this. It's up to him if he wants to be friends with me or not. I don't want more from him. Not anymore."

She gasped in slight offense at the accusations coming her way. "I wasn't – " A slight pause and a slow intake of breath calmed her down. "I wasn't trying to fix it. I was – I was thinking about the implications, that's all?"

"Implications?" She asked rather slowly.

Thinking the tone of voice was for a different kind of not understanding, she readied her 'vocab lesson' tone. ""Yes, implications. Indications, suggestions, connections, involvement, entan – "

"I know what it means. I just don't know what you mean by it.

She shook her head, wanting to leave that for another day. "Never mind." She looked away for a moment before continuing. "So… you're single?"

"Why, you wanna go on a date?" Jane asked jokingly.

Maura, however, didn't hear the joke. "What?" Her respiration picked up as well as her heart rate.

"Relax, I was kidding." She laughed and then paused. When she looked at the other woman she caught a shimmer of insecurity in her eyes as well as a glimpse of something she couldn't identify.

A very short nervous laugh escaped from her lips. "Right. Well… it's getting late. We should go to bed." She jumped up off the couch and began collecting her used tissues.

Jane followed suit, picking up the ones that had missed the coffee table. After grabbing their cups, she joined the other woman in the kitchen who was throwing her pile away. She noticed that she was doing this task rather slowly and put her things down before placing a hand on the shoulder in front of her. "Maura? You okay?"

Said woman sniffled, trying to keep the tears at bay. Not trusting her voice at the moment, she just nodded and headed to her room.

"Uh…" The detective watched her take a few short steps before speaking up. "Do you want me to come with you?"She asked, knowing that Maura preferred not to sleep alone at times like this.

That caused her to stop. But she didn't turn around. "I don't need to be babied, Jane. I'll be fine." She continued onto her room, leaving a slightly stunned Jane in her wake.

In all actuality she _did _want Jane to join her. In fact, she kind of felt like she _needed _it. But, lately, she had been having trouble even thinking when the other woman was around. She knew that what her sanity needed was some alone time to think about what had just happened and how she was going to possibly juggle keeping her feelings for Jane locked up while also trying not to burst into tears about Hope's anger towards her. It was hard enough doing the former thing before. Especially since they were almost always together.

In the other room, Jane collapsed on her bed. Her brows had been pressed together since she heard the master bedroom door close and she couldn't, for the life of her, figure out what she did wrong. She hoped all it was is Maura being in a weird place right now. She had to admit that this situation is a very uncommon one and she wasn't sure how she would react if she was in her friend's position. Nevertheless, the issue weighed heavily on her mind and made it nearly impossible for her to get to sleep.

XXXXX

The Commonwealth of Massachusetts was very lucky there were no murder cases to solve today for many reasons, one of which being the fact that their top M.E. was under so much distress she wasn't even capable of performing an autopsy. The only work she had was paperwork and, even then, it could wait until later. To say she was a wreck would have been a fierce understatement and she spent the entire length of time between her arrival and lunch shopping for things that she had absolutely no need for.

When Jane came down fifteen minutes after the time they agreed to meet in the café, she caught her in the midst of browsing through the As Seen On TV site. "Maura, really? You do not need a Shake Weight."

"But –" She was about to come up with a pathetic excuse when she was cut off.

"No. Come on, I know you get like this when you're upset. Let's go find lunch. And maybe we'll talk." Shooting a reassuring smile the doctor's way, she tried to lead her out of the room and to the elevators. In order to do so she had wrapped her arm around the other woman's shoulders. This act, unbeknownst to her, essentially overloaded Maura's overworked emotions, causing the fact-filled brain to fizzle out.

The moment they entered the precinct's own dining establishment, Angela took notice. She watched as her daughter helped Maura into a chair before walking over.

"Is she okay?" The older woman's eyes were filled with worry for her temporary roommate.

"I'm not sure. This whole thing with Hope has gotten to her more than I thought it would. Can you try to make her something that will make her feel better?"

"Sure thing." She smiled and went into the kitchen.

Jane turned and rejoined her best friend. She reached across the table and slid her hand over Maura's wrist. As an added show of support, she ran her thumb against the smooth skin. She tried her best to gain eye contact with the M.E. but wasn't having much luck, as the hazel orbs across from her were fixated on the table.

Maura, lost in her own head, was currently trying her best to keep her composure. It felt like her skin was on fire and the last thing she wanted was an extinguisher. She wasn't exactly sure when these feelings turned romantic but it seemed like every time Jane pulled her in for a hug she felt like she was drowning and was thankful there was no lifeguard in sight. And every time she locked eyes with the taller woman she was tempted to look for Tinker Bell, cause she could have sworn, in those brief moments, that she could fly. Now, though, she these amazing feelings to go away so she could focus on the more pressing issue of her half-sister's illness.

A light clang brought both women out of their thoughts. They looked up to see Angela putting their food on the table. Macaroni and cheese for Jane, and the house special – bunny pancakes – for Maura.

"Thanks, Ma." She smiled up at her.

The older woman just nodded and looked at Maura, who smiled her thanks weakly. She watched with a frown as the pancakes were pushed around with a fork. Only a few bites were taken out of it by the time Jane had finished with her meal.

"Maura? Eat some more. Please?"

The pleading tone in her voice snapped said woman out of it enough so that she could eat another ear but that was just about all her anxiety ridden stomach could handle right now. She got up and walked out.

"Maura." Jane called after her. She sprinted to the elevator just in time. "Maura! Come on, talk to me. I feel like you're shutting me out. Did I do something wrong?"

"No. Of course not." She said, hearing the heartbreak behind those words. "I'm just having trouble dealing with everything, that's all."

"Do you want to talk to a professional?"

"No. I just need some alone time to think." The elevator dinged to signal the arrival of her floor where she got off.

"Oh, okay." Jane responded to the fleeting figure. The doors closed and she hit the button for her own floor, still worried about her friend's mental state. She spent a few hours on paperwork and coming up with new pranks to pull on Frost. The latter activity was the most time consuming as she now had a very observant nun to factor into her plans. When she was finished jotting down a rather mischievous plot, she decided to go down and check on Maura. She was disappointed but not surprised at what she saw. "Really? Again with this?" She sighed and reached over to close page that showed the Home Shopping Network's website this time. "You need to talk to her. Or I will."

"Don't you dare!" The forcefulness of the warning startled the both of them.

"Fine…. But if you keep doing this." She pointed to the computer screen. "You're going to wind up broke and living with me. Do you really want to sleep on my couch?"

The M.E.'s nose scrunched up in disgust at that thought. "No. But it's too soon to talk to her. I – I don't even know what to say that won't make her yell at me again." She broke down.

The sight tugged at Jane's heartstrings and she welcomed the sobbing doctor into arms. After a few minutes of muttering calming words and rubbing her hand against her best friend's back she felt the other woman start to regain composure.

Maura pulled away and looked up into chocolate eyes, which was a mistake due to the fact that she froze for a moment or two. When she was able to, she spoke. "Can we go home?"

"Of course, Maura." Jane smiled and let Maura lead the way to the Toyota parked in the attached structure.

After arriving at the pristine house, the detective started to make some tea while the other woman settled in on the couch.

Not too long later, Maura heard a knock on the door that was so soft she wasn't sure if it had even happened. Nevertheless, she went over to open it and saw her birth mother standing there. A shocked gasp escaped her lips. "H-Hope?"

"Hello, Maura. May we talk?"

Nodding, she stepped aside to allow the older woman into her home. Jane took that as her cue to go into the bedroom, yet she kept one ear pressed firmly against the door at all times.

"I – I want to apologize for my outburst last night. I should have listened to your side of the story. I'm sure you have your reasons for keeping this to yourself."

"I understand. I've been thinking about it nonstop since last night and I realized that you must have felt at least a little bit of betrayal. You thought you could trust me."

"I did." Hope nodded sadly. "And, I must admit, I still do hold some resentment towards you for keeping that from me. But… she really needs your kidney, Maura. She's getting worse every day. But she still doesn't want it. I've tried talking to her the last few hours but she is very stubborn."

Maura nodded sadly. "I know. Last night she told me very clearly her feelings on the situation. I just wish there was some way to change her mind."

Hearing this, Jane got an idea. She decided to forgo hearing the rest of this conversation and snuck out the window. She knew the Martin residence was within walking distance and she was very grateful she thought ahead and looked up the address while she was at work. It didn't take too long for her to reach the home and she knocked with more force than she meant to.

"What do you want?"

Jane laughed bitterly. "That's no way to talk to your elders."

Kailyn rolled her eyes and started to shut the door. It was stopped by a foot.

"We need to talk."

"If this is about the whole Maura's-kidney thing, I already told her I don't want it."

"And if you don't you're going to die. And Maura's going to blame herself her entire life if you do!"

"That's all you care about, isn't it? _Her _happiness? Why not try to find me another donor? You're a cop, aren't you supposed to be saving lives?"

"I am. But your case is a doctor's job. Oh, hey wait a second. Maura's a doctor!" She said rather sarcastically, growing very tired of this situation. "Take the damn kidney!" She was just about ready to pull her gun on the teen when she heard a sigh of defeat from the shorter female.

"You're right… I just – she hurt my mom so much."

"It's not Maura's fault that that Patty Doyle did what he did. Why should you be punishing her by not taking her kidney? I mean, are you insane? She wants to save your life and you're refusing it. Just give her a chance and let her help you. Please."

She nodded, knowing that she was just being stupid for not accepting it the first chance she had. Now she just hoped she hadn't burned that bridge and her half-sister would still be willing to donate.

"Then let's go." She pushed the door open to allow the younger girl to step out of the house and, when she did so, Jane reached forward to close it shut. After waiting for Kailyn to lock the door they made the short trek back to Maura's home. Jane instructed her to knock before going back in the way she came.

"Kailyn?" Maura asked, surprised, when she opened the door.

"I, uh… I wanted to say that I'm sorry for before. And I…. I accept your kidney if you're still willing to donate."

"Of course." She said as cordially as she could. No doubt she was still a bit upset about the outburst from before but this was a life or death situation. She could be mad later.

Meanwhile, Hope looked on, wide mouthed. She thought pigs would fly before she ever heard her say something like this. "Well… I, uh… I guess it's decided." She smiled. "Should we go to the hospital in the morning?"

Maura nodded and, after a few more words, they parted.

"Feeling better?" Jane asked, hopeful, when she saw the door close. She had just come out of her room and caught the tail end of that conversation.

She nodded and started walking towards the other woman. "Yes. Thank you." She sniveled a little bit before continuing. "I don't know what you did, but thank you."

"What? You don't think Kailyn had a come-to-Jesus moment in the past twenty-four hours?" The taller woman asked with a smile.

"Definitely not." She reached the other woman and allowed herself to be swept up in the warm embrace, not even caring about the tidal wave of feelings it caused. She was just happy and oh-so relieved that things were starting to work out. At least on the Hope-Kailyn front. She sighed and broke away. "We should get some sleep."

Jane nodded, exhausted as well. She started towards the guest bedroom but was stopped by a request from her best friend.

"Sleep with me?" Maura asked, trying not to blush from the double meaning of the word. She just wanted to feel safe tonight, even if it would hurt her sanity in the long run.

Surprisingly, though, the night went by rather quickly. By morning the doctor was well rested and, after a quick shower, she was ready to go. It took a bit longer to drag Jane out of bed but, soon, they were on their way. Since the hospital was nearby it only took a couple of minutes.

Kailyn's levels had taken a turn for the worse since her last check up not too long ago so the doctor's decided to schedule the surgery for later on in the day. The two patients were brought back for a few tests and prep work while the loved ones were left to wait nervously with the magazines.

After the IV was in place and the anesthesiologist's questions were answered, Maura counted backwards from ten and, before she could get to seven, she was out like a light. Within seconds, it seemed to her, her eyes opened again. The first thing she saw was Jane's smiling face.

"Hey. How're you feeling?"

"Thirsty." She managed to eek out despite her extremely dry throat.

That prompted the detective to grab a nearby glass of water and hold it up to her best friend's mouth. She placed it down on the bedside table before speaking. "I'll say it again. You are incredible."

As weak as she was, the bedridden woman was still able to shake her head. "I was just doing the right thing."

"I know. But you're still incredible." She stepped closer and used the edge of her finger to brush against the other woman's face. "And so brave. Amazing. Wonderful. " She shook her head. "Now I wish I paid more attention in English class so I can come up with more adjectives to describe you." She paused for a second, coming up with another one but she wasn't sure if she should say it. Voice shaking, she decided to anyway. "And beautiful."

Maura laughed, not believing that. "Like this? Jane, I'm in a hospital gown. My hair's a mess, I have no makeup on, and I am drugged up."

"And, yet, you still look gorgeous. Just goes to show you what true beauty is, huh?"

This caused the doctor to blush and turn away as well as she could. Still seeing the other woman in her peripheral vision, however, meant her mobility was definitely limited in the state she was currently in.

"Maura?"

She turned her head back to face the voice.

"I'm really proud of you."

A soft smile formed on the face that was growing ever sleepy. "Thanks." She muttered out as her eyes closed before she drifted off to sleep. The phrase that had been repeating in her head the moment she woke up escaped her lips. "I love you, Jane."

A smile that could light the world for a year erupted on said woman's face and it took all she had not to wake the M.E. She settled for placing a gentle kiss upon Maura's temple before lowering her voice to a light whisper. "I love you too, Maura. So, so much."


End file.
